Mark Kozelek - the sad life of the troubadour

Last week I finally had the opportunity to go see one of my favourite songwriters, Mark Kozelek. He now records under the name Sun Kil Moon.

It was a paired down tour with only Mark (Kozelek, not this blogs Mark) and an accompanist also on guitar.

Now this is not going to be a review on the show, I will leave that to the music blogs out there. Instead I want to talk about the sad life of the troubadour.

Years back I attended a music college to study classical guitar. It was not something I was passionate about at all. Rather my parents decided that if I was going to choose music as a career I should do something reputable. This coming from two people who trod the Melbourne pub scene for years. I guess they didn't want me to end up working my backside off for so little gain. It is after all a very difficult life.

Suffice to say I did not last long there. For me it was about songwriting rather than becoming a great musician. I guess this is something they just didn't get. Neither of my parents were big songwriters and the band played mostly covers.

But the thing was I was not a natural performer either. In fact I had terrible stage fright, and still do although I have found ways of dealing with it.

And it is this capacity to cope that brings me to the point of this post. There have been a number of occasions in which I have gone to a gig knowing in advance that the performer is extremely shy. It was interesting then to see how they cope with this on stage. Would it effect their performance or would it be the one place in the world they felt comfortable. I have seen examples of both. But what about all the hours preceding the nights gig? How does a shy person manage the endless touring, interviews and fans?

In the case of Mark Kozelek, it was clear that he was not coping at all with his public.

On the second night (yes I am a freak and went twice) I waited around after the show to see if I could get to meet this fascinating songwriter and maybe get a CD signed. It was with great regret that I got my wish. A mere 5 minutes after the encore, with the crowd now thinned, Mark came wandering out. My sister and I wandered over to wait nearby as Mark signed someone's CD. He then turned to us and it was then that my heart just sank. Whatever he took backstage had worked very quickly. Far from the gregarious funny performer we saw on stage; we had before us a confused, shy and paranoid man who could barely see through his sunken eyelids.

The conversation was quipped, confused and teeth grindingly uncomfortable. Frankly I have done everything I can to forget the incident so I don't lose that feeling I get listening to his music.

Why do these people do what appears so uncomfortable to them? Why make a career that demands from then what they cannot deliver? Here is what Kozelek said in a recent interview about meeting his public-

"You find yourself acting strange. Sometimes when I’m on stage and I start rambling about my personal life or spilling my guts to some weird fan that’s gonna post what you said online in half an hour… it’s a weird world, a whole different thing. Being in that world where people are obsessed with you is strange, idiosyncratic and exclusive."

And perhaps even more telling, this quote -

"Sometimes, even though you’re out there playing for 500 or 1000 people, so for two hours you sort of have the world in your hands, but in a second those people are out the door, on trains. And I’m backstage with the club guy, who really just wants you to get the fuck out of there because he has to do the same thing tomorrow night, and all of a sudden you’re in a cab and in a hotel room, jet lagged, fucking lonely as hell, and you can’t call anyone ‘cause it’s fucking expensive and it’s some weird hour somewhere else."

Its a tough industry. And from what I have heard from some inside sources it appears drugs are offered to these guys regularly, even by the record companies themselves. I think even the most together artist must give in at some stage. Travelling so much of the year it is hard to keep yourself grounded. Perhaps this is what my parents saw for my future and hoped for something better.

Have you heard any stories of artists who have just not coped with touring? Send us your comments.

Wrong side of the bed - the proof

 I really love the Internet, don’t you? I thought so. God we are so alike. We are becoming quite close aren't we. Like two pees in a pod. Next I will be calling you dude or lovey.

One of the purposes of this Blog is to write about interesting things and see what the wider web world has to say on the subject. A simple search on most topics will provide at least something of interest. It may not be factual, possible or true but dag nab it you can find some funny stuff out there.

Here is an example. This morning I am feeling tired and unmotivated because I only got 5 hours sleep last night. The thought of having to come up with something to write about made me want to just crawl under my desk and go 'in utero'. I then remembered that I wrote down some possible subjects to write in a kind of rainy day file. One that particularly struck me this morning was the entry - 'Getting out of the wrong side of the bed. Is this testable?'

Perfect! They say you should write about what you know. It got me thinking whether anybody else has thought about this. Surely there is some evidence out there that getting out of the wrong side of the bed can ruin your day.

Well I was wrong, and yet…….

I found this blog called The Smartest Man Online. In a boldly titled post 'Explanation : Wrong Side of the Bed' he notes that there are four cycles of REM (WARNING: from this point on I offer you my own interpretation) in which it is akin to a football match in that the game must only conclude at the end of the fourth quarter. To interrupt this cycle is to break the rules.

You see the sleeping individual requires a cycle of shallow sleep in order for the body to be fully charged. Actually its more like a phone charger isn't it. If you don’t complete the charging cycle you get much less workable use from the phone later in the day. This is all good and I understand the logic. But it does'nt explain anything pertaining to the side of the bed you get out of. He has merely argued that its no fun being woken up early. Well duh!

Time to move on. Thankfully my return to Google provided me some more valuable information. Over at The Divine Caroline we finally get some solid proof. She reports that the Premier Hotel Chain commissioned a study to answer this very question. Bless their cotton sheets. The study concluded that it was in fact the LEFT side that ensured us the perfect start to the day. Read a little further and you discover that it was a dazzling combination of psychology and feng shui that lead to this conclusion. You see the left side of the brain is your rational and logical hemisphere while the filthy right side is all juiced up on emotions and imagination. So the logical (and clearly scientific) conclusion is that you should roll out of the bed on the left side and this will chemically switch on the good side of your brain. The actual detail or proof for all this is very dry stuff so lets just agree to agree shall we? As for the feng shui, well apparently Left is much better. Ok, cool. Yay for left.

But here is something I pondered. And reading further I see The Divine Caroline also did. If the left hemisphere looks after the right side of the body and vice versa, shouldn’t you be rolling out the right side if you are using your left hemisphere? The overall theory I'm sure we can all agree is perfectly sound, but this missed detail is just alarming. I am left even more confused and distressed than when I first read it. I need a nap but im too scared to get in the wrong side too.

Its seems clear that there is only one course of action left to us. From this day on I intend on getting in and out from the end of the bed, and thus ensuring a karmically balanced start to the morning. Rather than being too logical, or too emotional, I will be centred and at one with the universe.

And God save the souls of those with a bed like this. For truly theirs is a bleak and uncertain future.

Speaking of spam - the story of Charlie

A year or so ago, a friend and I set out to create the ultimate chain email. We wanted it to have all those essential elements: pathos, wish-granting, guilt tripping, and rhyming.

---
This is the saddest email I have ever read ever! Serious guys, I'm not joking on this one. If you don't burst into tears after reading this, you're an awful person.


POOR CHARLIE


Saturday is a busy day
It's time for the football game
So Charlie raced out of the door
His father did the same

He rushed towards the family car
And sat down on the seat
And impatiently waited for his dad
While wiggling his feet

Too busy to have breakfast
Too busy to comb his hair
Too busy to check the computer
And the email that waited there

So Charlie played his football
And kicked ten thousand points
Although he hurt his kicking foot
And other assorted joints

But for all his youthful vigour
And his cheeky boyish grin
Little did poor Charlie know
That fate was coming for him

He checked his computer once more
But off to the living room he went
Because 'Idol' was on the tv
And the email remained unsent

Had he taken notice
Had he read it to the end
He would have understood the sad email
Sent to him by his friend

He didn't read the story
He didn't send it on
And slowly, very slowly
All his good luck shall be gone

For chain emails are a powerful thing
As Charlie did find out
The bad luck that awaited him
Was enough to make you shout...

"Oh no, not poor young Charlie
He's such a brave little guy
He's such a little trooper
Why did he have to die?"

That's right, poor Charlie carked it
He got cancer in his bowel
Then got a bout of syphilis
- please don't ask us how

And then he tripped down the stairs
And broke his upper left thigh
And as he lay there in agony
He wished he had replied-

-To that simple little message
"Had I only passed it on
I wouldn't be here dying
With chille stains on my shirt

I must have hit my head" he said
"I've clearly got concussion.
No longer am I rhyming well
Or speaking in correct pies"

As little Charlie passed away
Ducks nibbling at his spleen
And rats sneaking into his bowels for warmth
His toes were turning green

And from his foaming trembling lips
These last words did he moan
"if you don't reply to chain emails
you'll die horribly and alone... probably down some stairs or something."


SEND THIS TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU! PLEASE! THIS COULD CHANGE THE WORLD! THE MORE PEOPLE THE BETTER.


50 - Send this email to over 50 people, and Charlie will come to life again. You and he shall go on a magical journey to some far off land, and then have cake. Then of course he will have to die again to make room for the next person to send 50 emails.

20 - Send this on to 20 people and not only shall you be immune to cancer, but you'll also receive four billion dollars within seven seconds of sending it. Also, that huge crush that you once had will turn up to your door and immediately propose to you.

10 - Send this on to 10 people and you will develop duck repellent qualities. Furthermore to that, you will never ever spill chille on your favourite shirt. Your crush will come to your door and say something to do with avacados, but you were too busy staring in awe at them that you weren't really listening. You'll find a fifty dollar note on the street, but then you'll probably just spend it on food or something, which makes it a kind of waste, because it all ends up in the toilet in the end anyway.

5 - Send this to 5 people and you will have an erotic dream about your crush that night. At least you think it's them, because the person's face isn't quite the same and they change gender from time to time. Nevertheless it will be a happy dream. You will also find an empty bottle on the street while you walk to work which you can cash in for about twenty cents and the recycling shop. You'll see a rat around the corner, but then you'll keep walking and forget about it about four seconds later.

4 - Send this email to 4 people and we'll give you a free upsize to 5, THIS WEEK ONLY!!

< 4 - Send this email to less than 4 people and you'll most likely trip over some hobo on the way to work and have to clean bodily fluids off your favorite suit for the rest of the day.

0 - If you refuse to send this email to anyone, because you're lazy, or insensitive or just don't have any fingers, then you will die a horrible, horrible death.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't believe us? Check out these fantastic testimonials:

"Hi, My name is Fred Tompson. I read this email and was so moved by the story of Charlie that I immediately forwarded it to 24 people. The next day I became the richest man in the world by selling immitation sardines over the internet. I'm also married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and we make sweet love once every seven minutes. I owe it all to clicking my mouse button a few times and thinking of Charlie."

***

"Tootles! Jeanette Winterbottom's the name. I am a teacher of Information Technology at Darbishire Elementary College. We recently had one of our students die from witholding Chain emails from the community. Among the symptons included a broken pancreas, dislocated brain, a bit of a backache after dinner, and the distinct smell of duck poo. I now use this email as a criteria for all my student's gradings and have found it successful in reducing the ammount of rat-related deaths in the college by 37% Since implementing the program, all unexpected in-class fatalities were the result of other phenomenon and not this email. Thank you Charlie!"

***

"Hi, I'm Brett. I received this email, and deleted it. now I'm dead."

***

"I'm Ted Lowry. I received this email, and sent it to only 7 people. As I was walking to work the next day, I found an old CD on the road. I tried to play it, but it was really too scratched to get any real melodies. I kept it around the office for a few more days, but then I threw it out and bought a sandwich. God bless you Charlie!"


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As you can see, the power of this email is astronomical. So prove to yourself and to your friends that you are a good person, and not a selfish one. Send this to as many people as you can. And if you don't have enough friends to send this email to, then you're probably an awful person and deserve all the bad luck coming to you.

But now here's the best bit. Before you press send, think of Charlie, count to five and make a wish.


>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>> 5!
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>> 4!
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>> 3!
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>> 3!
>>>>
>>>
>>
>
>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>> 1!
>>>>
>>>
>>
>


Ooops, it must have got wet. But perhaps if you wait a little while, then your wish is 46% certain to be absolutely GUARANTEED to come true!

Raising hopes more than boats

I got this sent to me via email the other day. It's one of those thousands of mails you get sent with a feel good message that if you have bothered to read to the end tell you a small child in Borneo will die if you don't annoy 10 more friends by forwarding it to them. 

So im saving myself the time and posting it here instead.

A Japanese freighter had been torpedoed during WWII and it's at the bottom of Tokyo Harbor with a large hole in her hull. A team of engineers was called together to solve the problem of raising the wounded vessel to the surface. One of the engineers tackling this puzzle said he remembered seeing a Donald Duck cartoon when he was a boy where there was a boat at the bottom of the ocean with a hole in its hull, and they injected it with ping-pong balls and it floated up. The skeptical group laughed but one of the experts was willing to give it a try. Of course, where in the world would you find twenty million ping-pong balls but in Tokyo? It turned out to be the perfect solution. The balls were injected into the hull and it floated to the surface, the engineer was altered. Moral- solutions to problems are always found at an entirely different level; also, believe in yourself in the face of impossible odds.

My burgeoning skeptic mind was brimming at this one and I was interested to see if this would actually be possible. I found an episode of myth busters here that tested this very story for its validity. It turns out that this is actually a plausible scenario. However during their testing they discovered that for even a relatively small vessel the number of ping pong balls required would be astronomical. And the other issue was that the ping pong balls kept finding escape routes. Here is a picture of WW2 Japanese freighter the 'Okikawa Maru'. You would expect after such a long time at the bottom of the ocean that the integrity of this structure would be a little shaky. It would be riddled with gaping holes. Also the hull would likely be isolated in separate walled off sections to prevent it sinking. So it would take multiple entry points to pump the ping pongs at the same time otherwise you risk only one end rising. This may work on a small boat that is still intact however using this method to raise a rusted old freighter would be virtually impossible.

Now please pass this post on to 10 people or 300 kittens will be drowned........... by me! 

Kiddy vampires and how they get made.

We are not prone to endorsing products on this blog however given what we are seeing with our own eyes we feel compelled, perhaps even forced, to give this product our full support. Our mortal souls depend on it.

A selling feature of his wonderful new instant digitally controled hot water service is that it prevents your babies from getting burnt if they play with the hot water tap. What they don't tell you is that this kind of water leads to infant vampirism. Check out the photo on the box.













I guess even the undead need to keep clean.

I thought it might be interesting after viewing this to google (as is our want) 'vampire children'. I came across this post. The post itself was weird enough however even more disturbing was one of the comments down below by Falcc. Falcc had some thoughful comments to make about the misunderstood subject of Vampire sex. Thank God we have the likes of Falcc to inform us of what really goes on in the average bloodsuckers bedroom -

"It’s my personal theory that Vampires, generally getting it on a lot with mortals and each other are probably sterile in the traditional sense, but since they’re magical anyways can probably impregnate with some weird blood ritual after sex. Then the kids are born human and they change them once they get older. Thus explaining away all the plot holes without thinking too much."

Phew, thanks Falcc. It all makes sense now.

World Youth Day roundup - a poke at the Pope

For those of you who live somewhere other than Australia you may not realise that Sydney recently become the epicentre of all things Catholic. World Youth Day, whatever it actually is, kicked off with a concert of truly biblical proportions. It featured the best Christian talent the Catholics could afford such as Guy Sebastian, Damien Leith (representing the Irish protestants) and Shannon Noll (yeah, me neither).

It has come at a time of dwindling sales for the organisation. Church attendance is down and conversions are at an all time low. Some are even claiming that the fastest growing faith in Western countries is ‘None’. Those that fit in the 'None' category being Atheist, Agnostic, Jedi, Wizard or just none of the above.

What this all says is that Catholicism, as well as some other notable religions, are about as popular as Windows Vista right now. Even a recent MySpace poll (so you know its reputable) has shown a vast number of youth feel the Church is out of touch. I guess they haven’t made their way to godtube.com yet................... Cause its really cool, man.

Down here in Australia it proved impossible to find any television station not devoting (pun intended) half their news time to the goings on of these pimply purveyors of papal prophesying. Behind every flustered reporter in the streets of Sydney were 300 of the little dears singing ‘God said to Noah’ at the top of their lungs. I guess we were all warned there was going to be a floody floody of pilgrims arriving on our shores.

Something that struck me as quite strange when watching this footage was all the flag flying going on. I couldn't help pondering to myself why the Nationalism on top of the Catholicism? Is it more prevalent for the faithful to feel the need to fit themselves into tidy little categories? Everyone likes to feel like they belong but these lot seem to crave belongingness like it was heroin . It would be an interesting thing to poll who are the most nationalistic people. I would bet my soul that it would be the faith based. Perhaps I should contact MySpace with the idea.

But what is this festival actually teaching us about the religion? What is it trying to convey to us in real terms? I cant help but think that part of this is just clever marketing to aid indoctrinating the youth which, lets face it, find little practicality or commonality with the faith at the moment. But how do parades and parties give the non-believers some insight into why people show up to Church each Sunday to do everything but have parades and parties. Showing us how nice people can behave in a festival atmosphere is hardly a cause for celebrating the faith. Who isn't happy when they don't have to go to work? I have seen the same camaraderie at a football clubs end of season Bali trip.

Another thing I noticed a lot from pilgrims was their consistent use of meaningless church lingo like “we are so blessed”or “filled with the spirit of the Lord” and most notable “spontaneous joy”. Spontaneous joy? What does that actually mean?

I guess in the end most people will say that it was lovely to see the young’uns not getting drunk and violent or sexting each other on their mobiles (look it up). But this kind of logic belongs to older people who think that this kind of stereotype is right on the money. But it isn’t people, it really isn’t. So we should not base the success of this week on the grounds that nothing nasty happened, because normally it doesn’t anyway. All these supposed good qualities that religion sell’s itself on are also found outside the religion in equal measure. They don’t own the patent on goodness. It is innately within us all despite our faith or lack thereof.

We would have been better off having a praise Mother Earth Week than this. Because let’s face it. Like our own Mothers, its puts up with a lot of shit from us.

Tuesday Tech Tune

This week on Tuesday Tech Tune we have New Wave sensations Ultravox! The song is 'I want to be a machine'.

They were actually originally known as Tiger Lily, I wonder if this is where the Hutchens' got the idea from. There is a real Bowie vibe to this song.

One of its later additions Midge Ure, while being an accomplished musician, is the co-writer and producer of Band Aid single 'Do they know its Christmas' (i will add this video below just in case you have not had the pleasure of seeing this clip). Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing is up to you I guess.

So lets hear what the boys have to teach us about technology. Open your notebooks and keep your pens poised to note down such gems of wisdom as -

"I walked at boulevards again
A nebula of unfinished creatures
From the lifetimes of my friends
I hope your innocence has depraved me"

Has iPod killed the wandering mind?

I just bought some amazing Sennheiser headphones a few weeks back and have marvelled at the difference between these and the standard iPod supplied ones. We are talking chalk and cheese here. I was frankly gobsmacked. I think I might be in love.

Unfortunately I was pulling the right bud out of my ear quickly when the wire detached itself from the speaker end. I was devastated and promptly took them to JB Hifi to get a replacement. To my disgust they refused to do so and have sent them to the manufacturer to 'assess' them.

How ridiculous. What is there to assess? As far as I'm concerned when you pull a speaker bud out of your ear the wiring should be strong enough to deal with it. At a cost of $80 you expect a certain level of hardiness and quality.

So while I wait the 4 to 6 weeks I am back to my old pair (grrr). The problem being that they were at work, so for the first time since I bought the iPod I was without sounds for my 35 minute walk to the station.

Without the sweet company of Nick Drake or the latest You Look Nice Today podcast I was unfortunately left alone with my mind. It was an uncomfortable experience and we were both very nervous, like two acquaintances left in a room together with nothing to say to each other.

Given I was such poor company, my mind began to wander. All manner of subjects of minor interest popped in for a visit then popped out again. After a little while of observing my minds rambling it struck me that it had been some time since we had daydreamed together. It then occurred to me that this would be due to the iPod. I realised that when I am not on-task at work, on-line on the computer or on-the-floor with my daughter I am plugged-in to my iPod.

It works out that I leave virtually no intervening time to simply let my mind wander.

It made me question what are the benefits and drawbacks to being focused on things all the time. Is there possible damage in not allowing for daydream time?
I googled the question - What are the benefits of daydreaming? I clicked on one of the results and came across this article .

Essentially it says that daydreaming is really good for you. It aids stress management, motivates you with difficult jobs and improves concentration. I would have thought that listening to great music or thought provoking podcasts would be just as useful in these areas. Music can motivate you and a really interesting Podcast like the ABC's All In The Mind requires a good deal of concentration to take in all the information.

My other thought was that by denying myself daydream and mind wandering time I could be missing out on some really interesting ideas. I know as a songwriter that many of my arrangements come from daydreaming in that I hear the completed piece in my head with all the combined instruments. I also came up with the idea for this post while daydreaming. Whether you find it a genuine SOI or not I would never have come up with it had I been listening to my iPod.

It makes me think (when i have stopped listening to The Carpenters that is) what studies are being done to determine the psychological impacts of not allowing your mind to wander each day?

The Rock-Off Fairness Fallacy

I've noticed that there is an increasing trend for people to resolve disputes or allocate resources using the game of Rock Paper Scissors. The procedure is sometimes called a 'rock-off', as in "let's rock-off for the last slice of pizza"

This procedure is fine in a two person game (assuming no one cheats), but I often see people happily submitting to three-way rock-off's. In these arrangements two people rock-off, then the third person plays the winner, and the winner of that second rock-off is declared the overall winner.

But this procedure is inherently unfair!

Imagine that John, Fred, and Mary are rocking-off for a slice of pizza. John and Fred play first. Mary plays the winner.

For John to win overall he has to win the first encounter against Fred and then a subsequent encounter against Mary. John has a .5 probability of winning the first time and .5 probability of winning the second time. .5 x .5 = .25, so he has a 25% chance of winning the pizza.

The same applies for Fred. He has to win first against John and then against Mary. Both times he has a .5 probability of winning, .5 x .5 = .25, so he too has a 25% chance of winning the pizza.

But Mary, she gets it easy. No matter what happens she only has to play once. Regardless of whether she's playing John or Fred she has a .5 probability of winning that rock off. So her chance of winning the pizza is 50%.

Mary has double the chance of winning overall because she only plays the winner. Great if you're Mary, bad if you're John or Fred.

Better to just draw straws.

Mark finds a new religion & our regular Tuesday Tech Tune

iPhone therfore I am

It was a big day in this nerd's life this past Friday. Finally, finally the iPhone arrived in Australia and I had the good fortune of picking up the 8gig model. (I got the last one at The Glen without having to queue.)

For me, the iPhone is the last piece in the puzzle. Now I'm a connected and fully operational nerd everywhere I go, from a trip to the supermarket to a trip to the loo.

Yes, I'm one of those people who likes to be technofied all the time.

People have tried to ween me off the gadegts, the theory being that within every computer geek is a hippy trying to get out. Such attempts always backfire.

The funny thing is I was fine with the digital deprivation . It was the intervening friends and family that couldn't handle the truth.

They just couldn't cope with the reality that without my widgits and doodads I was just a redhead with a penchant for decaffinated cola beverages. No hippy emerged. No appreciation for soy products developed. All there was was a bloke with eerily cold data starved eyes staring back at you. Many were driven to madness.

So yes, I got an iPhone and I highly recommend you do too. And if your associates tell you to wake up and smell the roses tell them to wake up and smell the wifi, then capture their indignation on your lovely new iPhone camera.

Sent from Marks iPhone



On this weeks Tuesday Tech Tune, your weekly dose of songs about technology, we have the inimitable Kraftwerk.

I couldn't help myself I just had to add a few of the comments in You tube under this clip. If you can find a better example of geek humour then I will eat Stephen Hawking's left foot.

hyberpolo - 0100101101010110101011010011110101110101!!!!

Applemask - I don't understand your accent. However, 01011001010011110101010101010010001000000100110101 00111101010100010010000100010101010010.

Bill Henson and Art Monthly Australia - bully for them

SPECIAL NOTE. This post contains an exclusive interview with Blogging Royalty 'The Eye'.

It is not often that a piece of art has the kind of impact that sees it transcend the subject matter itself, and become so much more. Art can in these cases lead to some pretty big questions being asked and some very heated debates. It can make us question how far freedom of expression is allowed and whether an artist needs to enforce some kind of self regulation. It also makes us as a society ask ourselves what kind of responsibility we have when art has crossed some kind of perceived moral line in the sand. It is a rare thing indeed when one of the so called respectable arts can make this kind of front page impact. That sort of attention is usually left to the more mainstream artists. "Which pop singer has had another drug induced meltdown?" "Which socialite has released a follow-up homemade porn video? More at 6."

In the case of Bill Henson’s latest exhibition, it is the repercussions for the subject matter herself that leave us at SOI to wonder who was there to consider her safety?

About a month ago a series of artist Bill Henson photographs depicting a nude underage girl sparked an emotional national debate about censorship and the sexualisation of children. In fact when news of the exhibition broke, the gallery displaying the work was inundated with angry calls, some threatening to burn down the building. Child exploitation is a highly emotional subject and one that has recently been on the radar for a number of reasons. The timing could not have been worse for Henson given the recent outrage over a Myley Cyruss topless shots (the 15-year-old star of Disney hit TV show Hannah Montana ) and more recently the mass arrests over child pornography. And now we have a brand new controversy just making news over the retaliatory shots of a six year old girl on the cover of a petulant Art Monthly Australia in what is essentially the printed version of poking your tongue out. What makes it even worse is that these shots are just plain crap.

Recently we have seen the NSW police abandon their questionable case against the artist, I doubt many people truly believed that Henson’s intention was to create child pornography. Nor do many view the work as pornography, but is this really the point?

To our way of thinking the bigger issue comes down to the manipulation of the child involved rather than the fear of less savoury individuals viewing these images for purposes far from innocent. The fact is these people will pick up a Target catalogue and see something vastly different than what was intended. Our issue with all this comes down to something far more practical.

It turns out that the girl in the photos parents are friends of Henson. It was while at a dinner party together that he brought up the possibility of using their daughter as a model. Now you can see just how enticing this would be to the parents involved. It is likely that they are not artists themselves so the idea of having their daughter immortalised by one of Australia’s leading photographers would be absolutely thrilling. I can see the excitement in their faces as they clink champagne glasses to seal the deal.

I would suggest at this point that many of us are now wondering how much time was actually spent discussing the possible down side of this venture. The biggest question that comes to mind is what happens when the other kids from her school discover (which indeed they now have) that they are now the proud owners of nude pictures of their school chum. It doesn’t take a vast stretch of the imagination to work out what the other kids at school will do to her. One word springs to mind – bullying.

Art is at its heart subjective and the intent of an artist can get lost or even ignored. Lolita author Vladimir Nabokov experienced a shocking lesson in this very thing when he opened the front door at Halloween to find two girls dressed as his nymphet creation asking for candy. So you can just imagine what sort of things these kids, who lets face it, can be horribly cruel will say about these images. All discussion of artistic merit and the beauty of innocence is completely and utterly mute here.

Forget pornography, forget the perverts, forget artistic merit, forget censorship. If the parents of this girl can tell me that the children she goes to school with have not teased, taunted and bullied her in any way; if this does not taint her reputation in that school for years to come. Then I will apologise.

I ask again, is ANYONE let alone the parents considering this outcome? I just wonder how smug they are going to feel when she comes home from school one day and runs crying into their arms.


Mark's $0.02

Hi, Mark here.

Look, for me this issue is really simple. It's not about the definition of pornography, it's not about censorship, it's just about consent. Consent, consent, consent. Kids can't make this kind of decision for themselves, and given that it's conceivable that a child may regret it in the future, why should a parent consent on behalf of their child? And for that matter why should an artist accept that consent?

It wouldn't pass the ethics committee at my university.

I think a big problem with this debate is that people confuse morals with ethics, a topic which i will post on in the future. - Mark

And now our exclusive interview with The Eye.

We chat with the creator of 'Eye On Big Brother' fame. This year his informative posts on Australian Big Brother '08 have really struck a chord with people. Listen to this interview and you will understand why. This is one smart fella. Dont forget to go check out his site here.

Here is the interview -henson.mp3

Dont forget to subscribe to this blog (top right of page) as we hope The Eye will return soon.

Musical Terrorism - Nobody is safe

Mark and I have decided to take our relationship to the next level. That's right, we are sharing our iTunes playlists. A big step granted, but an important one to keep the blog fires burning.

We are using a spunky little program called Mojo which enables us to download tracks across a local network or the Internet. The only downside to this is that it eats away our upload allowance if you get charged for going both ways (just count the double entendres).

Here comes the disturbing twist to the tale. Upon gaining access to Marks musique ensemble d'objets I discovered an interesting pattern. None of his playlists were just of a single album. Instead there abound playlist after playlist of jumbled mixes based on complex strings of filtered madness. Looking in the edit section of just one and I started getting dizzy. I felt like I was in a scene from The Cube.

Where was his Artist or Album playlists? I couldn't take it in. My head was swimming. Where was his Radiohead only playlist? Where was Pet Sounds, Music From Big Pink, Revolver? There appeared no band loyalty whatsoever. Rather the lists focused on randomness and file sizes and least played.

He uses the so called 'Smart' playlist option in iTunes to create these acts of musical terrorism. I say terrorism because that's what it is. He and the rest of his fickle generation of musical Pol Pots are destroying the Album as we know it every time they unleash on of these little mixed menaces onto the online community.

Well enough is enough. Its time for other like minded album lovers to rise up and be counted. I propose an army of iPod Police; making random playlist searches and giving on the spot fines for anyone taking the concept too far.

Further to this I propose a three strikes and your out rule; followed by intense rehabilitation. I'm thinking solitary confinement rooms filled with bean bags, gigantic headphones, a turntable and a couple of milk crates filled with Rolling Stone magazines 'Top 100 Rock albums of all time'.


All that is necessary for the perpetuation of pernicious playlists is if good people do nothing.

I bless you in the name of the Godfather, the Sun-Kil-Moon and the Spirit of the rock and roll.

Friday Affettuoso

Affettuoso - affectionate, with tender warmth

I begin what is to become a regular weekly Friday posting in which we explore the mating habits of various species - called the Friday Affettuoso. This week we uncover the oceans answer to John Holmes - the barnacle.

Who would have guessed that the crap sticking to the hull of your precious Catamaran is in actuality the most well endowed species in the animal kingdom.

Inflating to around 50 times the length of its body, this crusty little bugger has it covered in the trouser sea-snake department.

The crustacean, once lodged, does not move for the remainder of its life. So it is important that it lands itself close to its kind. The barnacle has both male and female reproductive organs but it does not impregnate itself and will never be its own grandpa like this guy.

What the barnacle does to is whip out its massive appendage and like a Japanese commuter on an over crowded train, starts to probe its surroundings for a suitable mate with no escape route.

Once the host has been discovered and some lovely decorative coral has changed tentacles, the barnacle deposits its sperm and promises to call.

A truly beautiful arrangement. Who would have thought the Love Boat's real action took place under-hull rather than under-deck.

Nicafaith CQ (repost from the Pierian Puddle)

While we set up the subjects of interest blog, here's a repost from my other blog to give you something to read. Enjoy - Mark

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, made some comments recently about which elements of the Christmas story are important to believe in and which ones aren't. (I heard about this via Lee's post over on the 'Thinking Outside The Cage' blog.)

The Archbishop says he doesn't believe that a star literally guided three wise men to Bethlehem. This, apparently, is not an essential miracle to believe in. Furthermore, according to The Age, Dr Williams said that "while he believed in it himself, new Christians need not leap over the "hurdle" of belief in the virgin birth before they could join the church".

Interesting.

In marketing his very relaxed and moderate brand of religion, Dr Williams might hope that religion might capture a greater market share. It's a 'lite' version of faith, now 99% miracle free; a Diet Faith for those people who would like to take up religion but have previously found some elements hard to swallow.

I wonder, though, if moderate, diluted religion ends up playing quiet a different role? I wonder if it might serve as the religious equivalent of a nicotine patch; an intermediate step, not into religion (as Williams might hope), but out of it. Are Williams, and other moderates, creating a form of belief for those who are finding religiosity less and less compatible with the rest of their lives, but can't (for one reason or another) bare to go 'cold turkey'? And might this ultimately lose them more of the flock?

How much, I wonder, do either side of the believe divide know about how religious ideas play out in the minds of people in the long-term, and which are ultimately the best at capturing hearts and minds?

A religion worth killing for

I have spent some time in meditation over my spiritual future and after some careful googling i have found the perfect faith.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster (also known as the Spaghedeity) is the deity of a religion called The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its system of beliefs, "Pastafarianism". The religion was founded in 2005 by Bobby Henderson to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution. Because intelligent design implies the existence of an intelligent, but not necessarily omnipotent or omniscient designer, some, like Henderson, argued that this designer could, in fact, be anything imaginable.

In an open letter sent to the education board, Henderson makes a mockery of the concept of an intelligent designer by professing belief in a supernatural creator called the Flying Spaghetti Monster which resembles spaghetti and meatballs.He furthermore calls for the "Pastafarian" theory of creation to be taught in science classrooms.